Elushies

I feel like having panic attacks whenever I write. It feels like a disability, a weakness, my form of kryptonite. I almost always feel a murderous rage of frustration when I can’t get out what I’m trying to mean. I’ve become a masochist as I push myself to write to try to manage the anxiety I get from it. I know the importance of writing and I envy people who can write effortlessly. The thought that I can draw 3 portraits with the same amount of time I’m writing this doesn’t help because in the end I still wouldn’t be good at writing. I passionately hate writing. 

If I could, I would go “misery” on you. I’ll lock you in a room and force you to write a chapter a day. I won’t break your leg of course and I’ll cook you your favorite food and massage your back even. I know that sounds mental but this whole waiting thing while exciting is killing me. There’s even a possibility that you won’t finish your story and it’s very frustrating. I love your story and I love the way you write them. I’m enthralled in each chapter. I’ts weird that you’re not a published writer, by the way you write, you’re better than most out there. Maybe you are a published writer just posing as an amateur or maybe I really did stumble upon someone great and undiscovered or maybe I really am just your intended audience. I hate to over analyze things, just please finish your story so I could go on with living and reading it over and over again.